By Patrice Rhoades-Baum (used by permission)
During the week of our family reunion, my brothers tuned in the animated TV show South Park. I hate to admit it, but this disreputable show makes me laugh.
One episode, “Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow,” spoofs the movie of a similar name. Isn’t that title amazingly convoluted? The creators could have simply called this episode “Today,” but that wouldn’t have been as clever.
Funny how even a cartoon can teach us about clarity.
For truly persuasive writing, aim to express yourself as clearly as possible. Here are my top two tips:
1. Use you instead of one.
Poor: One should carefully consider the quality of TV shows one watches, especially if children are watching, too.
Better: Carefully consider the quality of TV shows you watch, especially if children are watching, too.
2. Use active, colorful verbs that precisely communicate your idea.
Poor: Many innovative comedies are a clever melding of old scripts with pop culture. (Here, the verb is are. A better verb, meld, is buried in the phrase “a melding of.”)
Better: Many innovative comedies cleverly meld old scripts with pop culture.
More tips to achieve clarity:
- Break one long sentence into two.
- Use the active voice (“Cartman killed Kenny”) instead of passive (“Kenny was killed”).
- Eliminate the preposition of whenever possible. For example, change “a result of the watching of crude shows by children . . . ” to “as a result, when children watch crude shows . . . .”
If you ever watch South Park, tune in for ideas to improve your writing. You may find some redeeming value in this coarse show after all!
A highly experienced marketing consultant and copywriter, Patrice Rhoades-Baum teams with small business owners and entrepreneurs to make their expertise shine with a crystal-clear brand and hardworking website. If you’re a business owner struggling to clarify your brand, Patrice will team with you to polish your brand, write copy for your website, and facilitate the creation of a new, strategic website – your most powerful marketing and sales tool. Learn more at www.BrandingAndWebsites.com
